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That’s it. The training is over. My body is as ready as it will ever be for this Sunday’s half-marathon, given the raw materials available. But man, the preparation! I had no idea it would take such commitment, such planning, such mental effort. My challenges have included:

Which colour sports bra to buy? My two old black ones simply don’t reflect the enormity of this event. So I clearly needed a new one. I’d knew I wanted the ‘squash-‘em-flat’ crop-top type (rather than the ‘divide-and-encase’ type.) But what a dilemma: lilac, scarlet or lime? In the end, after hours of slogging thought, I went for sky-blue. To match my eyes. I may be sweaty, stinky, red-faced and weeping by the end of this race, but there’s really no excuse not to be colour coordinated.

Pants? Do you have ANY IDEA what goes on in the world of sports underwear? It’s a MINEFIELD. Wicking? Supportive? Breathable? Cotton? Lycra is so unforgiving that even a dimple will show through. And when it comes to pants, it embosses them, as my sons sniggeringly pointed out when I wore my lycra capris to walk them to school one day. Lycra, basically, means a VPL. Even if you wear a sports thong (honest), there’s VPL. So you can either tie a sweatshirt around your waist to hide the VPL. Or not wear lycra. Or not wear pants. But after many hours’ hard effort, I discovered a wonderful product – running shorts with sewn-in pants.

Hair 1: legs. It is October, so perhaps I should wear my long tracksuit bottoms. In which case, no need to worry about offending the hordes of spectators with hairy legs. The weather, though, looks good – if it’s sunny, I may be better off in the shorts. In which case, shaving is required. Oh, this is exhausting.

Hair 2: head. Realising the paparazzi may be there, I suddenly realise that a haircut is also needed. More planning and scheduling required.

Makeup. Now this is a no brainer. I don’t think I’ll be able to avoid breaking into – let’s not say sweat – but a light glow. So anything that risks smearing, smudging, running or caking is not an option.

Anyway, I’ve done the prep. I’ve been committed to this project. I think I’m ready.

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